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Diet Diaries : Part 2 : The Milkshake Diet and Soo’s Homemade “you can always eat it tomorrow” Plan

14 Oct

I measured myself after a week of adhering to the Atkins Diet (as described in my previous blog) and I did not lose a single centimeter.  Not one.  I cannot tell you whether or not I lost mass, as I don’t own a scale, but even if I had, it would be a misleading brain hump, as centimeters are what really count in this game.  So scrap that.  All that suffering for nada.

Well maybe it was good for something – my veggie friends would be delighted to know that I am currently repulsed by the texture and smell of red meat.

So here are my measurements, as promised, the week before, and the week after the Atkins Diet :

Chest 98 cm’s (38 ½  inches)

Waist 77 cm’s (30 ½ inches)

Hips 91 cm’s (36 inches)

Thigh 57 cm’s (22 ½ inches)

Calve 34 cm’s (13 ½ inches)

Upper Arm 27 cm’s (10 ½ inches)

 

hmmm.. I am not sure I have got a fair shake

 

For the first three days after abandoning the Atkins Diet, I followed a Milkshake Diet.  This was probably venturing a little too deeply into old territory for the sake of science, but I weighed up my decision for about 30 seconds and decided I could handle it.  I went to the Supermarket and picked up a can of Strawberry “SHAPE”.

Although Milkshake Diets may have become more sophisticated since the nineties and there a several more popular brands available these days, “SHAPE” will always hold a special place in my heart.  I lived off it for six weeks straight (and the occasionally cup of Black Forrest Tea) while taking part in Bikini Competitions when I was 21.

It is cheap (R85 buys you a tin good for 15 meals) and it always promises quick results, if you have the right sort of twisted willpower.  I wondered how I would fair on it now, all these years later.

Making a glass of “SHAPE” involves scooping 3 nuclear pink tablespoons of powder into a glass, and adding 200ml of milk.  This inadequate amount of milk makes for a very sad looking half glass of shake, so I always top it up with water, which also dilutes it down, as I find it a little thick for my taste.

I watch the powdery lumps circling round the top of my shake nostalgically.  When you use the chocolate flavor you will grow to love those lumps, and hungrily claw at your empty glass with your fingers to scratch out the last of them, but the strawberry flavor is quite a bit sweeter, and the lumps are just plain nasty.  I had forgotten about my trick of making a paste with a bit of hot water first to remove the lumps.

“SHAPE” is quite delicious, although you will tire of the strawberry flavor more quickly than you will of the chocolate (which is almost impossible to find at the shops).  You need to replace two out of three meals in the day with the shake, and then you need to ensure your evening meal is modest.  A pamphlet attached to the lid of your tin (containing a ridiculous weight to height chart seemingly designed to make overweight people feel better about themselves) helps you work it all out.  A good evening meal would be a skinless chicken breast and steamed vegetables.

I find a good evening meal to be another serving of “SHAPE”.

What you can expect on a milkshake diet :

  • You will be starving ALL the time, despite what the packaging says.  I am not joking or exaggerating.  If you have never been able to handle feeling starving without heading for the fridge, this is NOT the diet for you.
  • Although you will be starving, you will not feel shaky.  Not feeling shaky will help you to get over feeling starving.  You are not going to pass out.  You will not feel dizzy.  Certainly better than being garden variety starving, with all the other side effects normally associated with it.  Here’s the catch though… people often quit diets because “I was feeling dizzy and felt as though I would pass out, and I can’t be expected to live like that”.  Well if those excuses have been your free pass to quit this sort of extreme regimen in the past, you will be deprived of them here.  The milkshakes are giving your body just enough nutrients to not shut down, but not enough to avoid discomfort.
  • You will be constipated.
  • You will feel like a social freak, so work around this by using your allowed meal on occasions where you are dining out with friends.

Milkshake diets are fuss free, as you don’t need to agonize over planning your next meal, and you can stick to them while working at an office.  Milkshake diets are NOT easy to follow.  I can’t stress this enough.

After a day or two on a milkshake diet, if you are a certain sort of person, you will start to enjoy the deprivation.  You will feel virtuous, smug and light.  You might even feel highly energized.  If you are me, with a certain history and following the plan for the purposes of blogging about it, this is when it is time to stop.

I lost 4cm overall in 3 days.

After that exercise in stupidity, I followed what I would like to call the “you can always eat it tomorrow” plan, for what remained of the two weeks leading up to today.

The rules are simple.  Stick to universally recognized healthy eating guidelines.  Drink more water and less soft drinks.  Cut out sugar wherever possible including the fair chunk you have in coffee and tea every day.  Remove visible fat from meat.  Eat more vegetables.

And most importantly, when you need to eat something delicious, eat it, but don’t eat it all.  Eat half of it, and put the rest in the fridge, and tell yourself – “you can always eat it tomorrow”.  When tomorrow comes, see if you can trick yourself into delaying it by another day.  Or eat it.  Whatever.  If you keep delaying it, it will eventually get nasty in the fridge and you will rather choose to throw it away.  If you do eat it, it is only a half portion of the original, spread over two days.

Here are my measurement’s, as of this morning.

Chest 95 cm’s (37 ½  inches) – 3 cm’s lost (the boobs always the first to go… *sigh*)

Waist 75 cm’s (29 ½ inches) – 2 cm’s lost (the place I really want to lose it)

Hips 88 cm’s (34 ½ inches) – 3 cm’s lost (the place I really want to lose it)

Thigh 57 cm’s (22 ½ inches) – the same. Not surprising, as not where I carry weight

Calve 34 cm’s (13 ½ inches) – the same. Not surprising, as not where I carry weight

Upper Arm 27 cm’s (10 ½ inches) – the same. Not surprising, as not where I carry weight

Total lost in 2 weeks : 8cm’s (just over 3 inches)

 

there it is

 

I took these photographs this morning, and perhaps it is appropriate to admit a few things.

  • I probably wasn’t fat 3 weeks ago.
  • I probably got hysterical when I laid eyes on a very unfortunate and unflattering photograph of myself (see below).
  • I probably went about this all the wrong way.
  • I am probably still going to try to lose a little more, but not by using Atkins, or drinking shakes.
  • I probably need to pay a little more attention to my state of mind when conducting “experiments”.
  • I am probably only human, and I would rather be real, than pretend to be perfect, either physically or emotionally.

Next time, I would like to talk about what all of this means.  Do you know any women who have a healthy relationship with food?  What IS a healthy relationship with food?  And other thoughts.

Thank you as always for your emails.  I do understand why you cannot comment here.

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